Dodgeball
by Taliax
Summary: In Coach Xigbar's class, dodgeball is the equivalent of a war zone. What's an un-athletic kid like Zexion to do when there are psychos like Larxene about? Hide in a corner with Demyx until forced otherwise. No pairings.


"Hi, Zexion!" Demyx said, walking over to hide in our corner of the gym.

"Hi." My reply was unenthusiastic. I couldn't say we were friends, but we both avoided as much exercise as we could in gym. I sat on the unsanitary floor trying to ignore Demyx and read my book.

"What are you reading, a dictionary?" Demyx joked, looking at the size of it.

"Technically, it's a lexicon," I replied. Demyx was just confused by the large word and took to staring across the gym, where Coach Xigbar yelled at kids to run faster or throw dodge balls harder. He didn't bother with anyone who was injured , except to occasionally say, "Hurt? As if. Get up and hit 'em back!" His class is closer to a coliseum than a gym. Dodgeball was one of my least favorite games to begin with and even worse in that particular class, hence me trying to avoid notice in the corner. It's not usually all that difficult, considering I'm short and rather unnoticeable.

All there was to give me away was Demyx, who decided to rant about how much he hated dodgeball right as Coach Xigbar walked into earshot.

"Well, if you hate dodgeball so much, I can let you run a hundred laps on the track outside. As a favor, of course." Xigbar grinned, which would have seemed joking to anyone who didn't have him as coach. But we did, and it was clear that he wouldn't hesitate to inflict that kind of torture upon us if he heard any more complaining.

"N-no, sir," Demyx stuttered nervously, running off to make himself look like he was playing, which basically meant walking around and squeaking whenever a ball flew past him, even if it was five feet away. I quickly followed, stuffing my book under the crook of my arm inside my oversized jacket that was a hand-me-down from my much taller brother. Who was three years younger than me. Go figure.

"Hey! Think fast!" Someone's voice called, and somehow I did, dropping to the ground as a blue projectile whizzed past my head. Unfortunately, another came within seconds, slamming into the back of my head so hard you'd think it was meant to be lethal.

"Are you okay?" Demyx asked in his whiny voice, the one that came out whenever he was scared. Which was a lot. "You just got hit by _Larxene!_"

So that hit _was _meant to be lethal.

Larxene's something of a dodgeball legend; she's only lost twice in the three years at our high school, both times to Axel, who was the only one who could match her quick-thinking and reflexes when it came to killing and not getting killed. She can throw dodgeballs faster than most people can think, but normally she picks targets who might actually be a challenge. Axel, of course, is always at the top of her hit list, but she sometimes picks on Demyx just for fun, and probably to see him whine.

I'm usually too far below her level to even be noticed. I didn't know why anything was different today. Maybe she missed someone else… No, she has too good of an aim. I haven't seen her miss anyone except Axel and Marluxia. Maybe she was aiming for one of them, but that was a bit much to hope for.

I actually made an attempt to stand up, looking around. Larxene was chasing Marluxia, who threw a lousy shot at her before quickly falling to the ground as he got pelted with blue dodgeballs. I would've felt sorry for him, but he had tripped me the last time we played dodgeball. He had it coming.

Meanwhile, Axel was lying on the floor, clutching his head. If he was standing up, I would've wondered if he was actually hurt or just practicing his 'got it memorized' hand motion. He liked to pop out and do that at the most random times, for some incomprehensible reason. Somehow Roxas and Xion, the new freshmen, had avoided being pummeled so far and were trying to be inconspicuous and hide behind Demyx. It wasn't working very well, as Demyx was also trying to hide behind them.

I'm sure I looked like a wimp as I joined them, but survival was more important at the time. As Larxene advanced with four dodgeballs in the crook of her left arm and one poised to throw in her right, I was sure I could hear Coach Xigbar dying of laughter across the gym. _If only the phrase was literal._

Larxene laughed a maniacally evil laugh, and I suddenly stopped doubting all the rumors about her being a witch. Demyx let out a girly squeak as he got knocked over by a ball to the face that had appeared out of nowhere. I notice Coach Xigbar laughing even harder and saw that Professor Luxord, a teacher I'd head of but didn't know what he taught, came into the room unnoticed and now seemed to be making bets on what would happen next.

Apparently too eager to injure other students to make her usual sadistic comments, Larxene took out Roxas and Xion at the same time, but with two different dodgeballs. Surprisingly, Coach Xigbar had never replaced the bouncy rubber balls with bowling balls or bombs (which I'm sure he'd like to), but in the hands of Larxene, they might as well be.

And then I was the only one still standing besides the obviously-not-mentally-stable girl/ninja/murderer. The back of my head still throbbed like it was hit with a wrecking ball. I pulled out my lexicon, intending to sit down, read, look like a dork, and hope she decided to accept my forfeit and ignore me. My usual approach if the less-violent students haven't bothered to hit me by this point. If that failed, I'd cook up an overly-elaborate plan to redirect her attention elsewhere.

"Oh, so it's just the tiny little freshman and his dictionary left! So far down the food chain, but even I have to have snacks."

With an evil grin, Larxene flung the ball just as I pulled out my book.

I screamed bloody murder, shielding my face with the hardcover lexicon at the last minute. The dodgeball bounced back at full force, hitting Larxene in the mouth. The luckiest shot in the world.

"What… Just_… Happened_?" Demyx asked, attempting to understand how I was still alive and the embodiment of torture was lying on the ground.

"Are my eyes working?"

"No way that half-pint actually pulled that off!"

"Does that even count as getting her out?"

"Is there a rule against it?"

"Dude, since when has dodgeball had rules?"

Students everywhere were muttering amongst themselves and staring. It was really, really, _really _awkward. I'd much prefer to avoid attention than be the center of it. And all because of an _accident,_ at that.

"Thanks for the show," Professor Luxord said, taking some munny from Coach Xigbar. _He predicted this? And actually _bet_ on it?_

"Nice job, midget," Coach Xigbar congratulated me, laughing. "Never woulda guessed books could be useful for anything but target practice."

Yeah, that's nice and all, but…

Next time we have to play dodgeball, Larxene's going to murder me.

**A/N: This is rather old, but I fixed it up a bit. This is the only AU fic I've ever written, so concrit is appreciated. **

**And to anyone who's reading my other fics, I'm really sorry for the lack of updates. D: My muse decided to take a vacation and then all my plot bunnies started revolting on me. But I'm trying. Whatever You Want to Do will probably be the next thing to be updated.**


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